It seems to me that the changes I most want to see are the ones I'm afraid I will never see.
I spend so much time worrying, praying, and crying over 'em and then out of nowhere they manifest.
Like a ton of bricks they fall and they do it as quietly as if they had fallen in a forest made of cotton.
They sneak up on you and they are so smooth with it, you don't realize they've even come until the time to acknowledge them has past.
You know how they do - like that smooth suave debonair sexy man with the sultry voice and bedroom eyes. He slides in, seduces you with his all his suave - leaving you breathless - and then as quickly as he came, he's gone.
I'm learning that these are the building blocks of faith. These moments are the ones on which trust is established.
You know, He told me things would happen in leaps and bounds. I thought 'ok. it'll be another year or two then before I see any of this so let me not just get my hopes up and let me just ride it out and be easy w/this current place. Let a sista just relax and settle in for the ride.'
So I did.
Then out of nowhere, I start having all these deep moments - like the one mentioned above - and my mind is just blown.
LOL, I think I vaguely remember praying something like this: 'Lord let me just enjoy the journey. Let me not be so intent on getting to the end that I miss the beauty in the process. I want all the sweetness along the way. Please just let me enjoy the journey.'
And as my ton of bricks finally made an impact on my heart Wednesday, I had the distinct impression of the glint of laughter in a Father's eyes and deep joy that His daughter is so taken with how He's orchestrated this thing.
I told Jenn that I feel like Sarah when she laughed at the Messenger who told her she would convcieve a child with her husband - even though she was 50 Million and 1/2 years old (taken from another friend), and then actually wound up pregnant. Cuz He told me two years ago that it would all come together and that I would not be shamed in my choice to obey. I all but laughed in His face - but I obeyed. And come to find out, He told the truth. I am not being shamed. I'm being proven wise on this deal.
So, in that moment I rejoiced - and am still rejoicing now. Because I didn't earn this moment. He just gave it to me. I could never in all my years earn this sort of sweetness. That God loves me enough to just give them to me tells me that I'm loved.
Truly, Madly, Deeply Loved.
Baby-
Thank you. I love you and I am so proud of the man you're becoming. God did a good thing giving you to me. I cherish you. I cherish this journey. You make God's grace and His love real to me. You're weathering this season like a pro and you will reap one-hundred fold from this sowing. Ride or Die, Love.
I spend so much time worrying, praying, and crying over 'em and then out of nowhere they manifest.
Like a ton of bricks they fall and they do it as quietly as if they had fallen in a forest made of cotton.
They sneak up on you and they are so smooth with it, you don't realize they've even come until the time to acknowledge them has past.
You know how they do - like that smooth suave debonair sexy man with the sultry voice and bedroom eyes. He slides in, seduces you with his all his suave - leaving you breathless - and then as quickly as he came, he's gone.
I'm learning that these are the building blocks of faith. These moments are the ones on which trust is established.
You know, He told me things would happen in leaps and bounds. I thought 'ok. it'll be another year or two then before I see any of this so let me not just get my hopes up and let me just ride it out and be easy w/this current place. Let a sista just relax and settle in for the ride.'
So I did.
Then out of nowhere, I start having all these deep moments - like the one mentioned above - and my mind is just blown.
LOL, I think I vaguely remember praying something like this: 'Lord let me just enjoy the journey. Let me not be so intent on getting to the end that I miss the beauty in the process. I want all the sweetness along the way. Please just let me enjoy the journey.'
And as my ton of bricks finally made an impact on my heart Wednesday, I had the distinct impression of the glint of laughter in a Father's eyes and deep joy that His daughter is so taken with how He's orchestrated this thing.
I told Jenn that I feel like Sarah when she laughed at the Messenger who told her she would convcieve a child with her husband - even though she was 50 Million and 1/2 years old (taken from another friend), and then actually wound up pregnant. Cuz He told me two years ago that it would all come together and that I would not be shamed in my choice to obey. I all but laughed in His face - but I obeyed. And come to find out, He told the truth. I am not being shamed. I'm being proven wise on this deal.
So, in that moment I rejoiced - and am still rejoicing now. Because I didn't earn this moment. He just gave it to me. I could never in all my years earn this sort of sweetness. That God loves me enough to just give them to me tells me that I'm loved.
Truly, Madly, Deeply Loved.
Baby-
Thank you. I love you and I am so proud of the man you're becoming. God did a good thing giving you to me. I cherish you. I cherish this journey. You make God's grace and His love real to me. You're weathering this season like a pro and you will reap one-hundred fold from this sowing. Ride or Die, Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment