18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 19to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
Wow. I have kept this to myself, but finally I'm free (& ready) to share. Today is the last day of my 40 days. And what a journey.
40 days of sacrifice.
40 days of waiting and not being sure just how to feel.
40 days of anticipating what comes next.
40 days with Jesus.
Luke 4 is the story of how Christ was led to the wilderness and tempted. How he fasted the 40 days and then satan tempted him 3times. And that when he had resisted that final time, satan left him.
I have been in the practice of fasting for quite a while now; we do it at church annually, and the last couple of years I've begun doing it on my own regularly as well. So, while it hasn't been routine, it has been pretty common-place in my life. Well, I got to the place in my journey where the only way to see the promises of the Lord come to pass was to seriously commit myself to fasting on a different level. So on Monday, March 17 I started a 40-day fast.
In the last 40 days, I have discovered so much about truly how powerful the Lord is to work in our lives if we just release them to Him and allow Him to reign. At one point I was discouraged, thinking I couldn't possibly stick it out until day 40. My body was craving everything I wasn't supposed to have, my family situation seemingly regressed and we were having undue dramatics. My man LOST HIS MIND right before the new family dramatics. And then let's not even go there about work. Not at all. And this was all in a two week time span. At you know, day 26. Almost done. More than 1/2 way there. And wanting to QUIT. I thought it would get easier as the days passed. How wrong was I??? Because the tempation was not only just for food. It was for my heart. My conduct. My level of obedient submission IN ADDITION TO my food sacrifice. And the farther along I went, the harder the battle for my heart got. I haven't experienced such an intense attack spiritually in a REALLY long time. And all in the course of 3 days literally all hell broke loose. And I was left with a decision to make: press forward or give in and throw away all that work.
I chose to press. And in the process of that choosing, I started seeing the Lord's word to me start to come to pass. Things that He revealed to me long ago are taking place now and I'm looking and saying 'wow'. And in my own life, for my own self, there are things I've been asking for and longing for. And fasting was the only way for those things to be released. And over the course of 39 1/2 days (because today is only 1/2way over *grins*) I've started seeing pieces fall into place in a way I just could not have imagined.
Day 15 , the Lord told me: 'Your fast has been ordained by Me. Do not doubt your ability to complete it.'
Today is day 40. And because of His grace, I have stood victorious. I woke this morning to the Father's praise and congratulations because I obeyed Him in this thing. And Wednesday as I spent some focused time with Him, Me gave to me the promise at the start of this post:
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
Truly, this has been an amazing time. I am overwhelmed at how this has worked. It seems like 40 days just started. And in some ways, I don't want it to end. I can't even articulate how I feel right now, except for a sense of jubilation. A sense of accomplishment. A sense of completion. I feel like doors that have been locked shut for a really long time are opening up right now, even as I type this post. I believe that God has waited patiently on me to get to this place in my life to be responsible enough and surrenedered enough to receive all that He has been wanting to give to me. I believe that just like with the Messiah, the fruits of this will be immediately evident in my life. I believe that this has unlocked doors for other people, too, to receive what God has in their own lives. It is a blessing and a privilege to be able to share that this journey is complete, as of midnight tonight.
The closer the hour gets, the more my spirit soars. I would never have known God this way without this last 40 days. The powe of the Holy Spirit is great and my God is greatly to be praised.
A deep worship rests upon me right now. A deep abiding knowledge of how powerful God is and how much He loves me. A deep-seated need to praie Him and to honor His patient endurance in His pursuit of my heart. A deep spiritual clarity that His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning. A true sense that today is the day it all begins. Everything. All of it.
And I praise the God that I serve, whom I now confidently call my own because He is THE God who does all things well.
Peace and Blessings. And may all grace abound to each of you who read this and who are touched by the words of our Lord.
I worship You. Thank you for Your Love. Habakkuk 1:5. I will stand and watch and be amazed at all You do. I love You.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.