God calls me Beautiful.
And that is a revelation that has long been lost on me.
Because He doesn't mean just physically beautiful, or just that a piece of my inner self is beautiful. He finds me COMPLETELY beautiful. Fully made in His image. Fully breathtaking. Fully striking.
He looks at me and He sees me in full color, shape, and dimension. And He finds every part, every emotion, every sensitivity, every cry of my heart, every detail of me... beautiful. Because, afterall, I am HIS creation.
Not that I'm perfect. And not that He is pleased with my sin or my failure. But that the heart of me is something He finds worthy of full embrace and acceptance and love. He finds me beautiful.
I know this all seems strange. I thought me and God had worked this out already, but apparently I stoppped before HE finished - and being Himself, He waited until I would invite Him in, to take me deeper into this thing of unveiling my beauty...
He set me up. Set me up to see that I cannot possibly get from others what I am unable to also give to them.
You see, I am not a fan of closeness - but not necessarily because someone has done something to me. It is really because I have always feared being fully known; I have always feared that if people were to know me well - to know my truth, my idiocyncrasies, my goofy tendencies, my high-strungness, and all the other pieces of the intimate puzzle that is me - that they would not like me. I feared that if I let them in, they would eventually find the one thing about me that would make me not good enough for them.
But I would never really have said all this out loud. And I have never really been put in a position to have it tested in an extreme way. I have close friends, intimate relationships and such. And I've learned to be ok with intimacy in that context.
HOWEVER. Then comes a relationship that is far more intimate than even the closest of frienships I've permitted myself to establish. There is this pesky thing of being known. Of NEEDING to be known. Deeply and fully and freely.
And God in His Sovereignty, met me right where I was. And took me deeper than I thought I could handle.
Now, I get it. I understand it better.
I am beautiful. Worthy of knowing and being known. Created in His image and purposed to do amazing things in my sphere of influence.
How very freeing this is.
And what a Mighty God I serve.
Love ya'll.
Rosheeda
And that is a revelation that has long been lost on me.
Because He doesn't mean just physically beautiful, or just that a piece of my inner self is beautiful. He finds me COMPLETELY beautiful. Fully made in His image. Fully breathtaking. Fully striking.
He looks at me and He sees me in full color, shape, and dimension. And He finds every part, every emotion, every sensitivity, every cry of my heart, every detail of me... beautiful. Because, afterall, I am HIS creation.
Not that I'm perfect. And not that He is pleased with my sin or my failure. But that the heart of me is something He finds worthy of full embrace and acceptance and love. He finds me beautiful.
I know this all seems strange. I thought me and God had worked this out already, but apparently I stoppped before HE finished - and being Himself, He waited until I would invite Him in, to take me deeper into this thing of unveiling my beauty...
He set me up. Set me up to see that I cannot possibly get from others what I am unable to also give to them.
You see, I am not a fan of closeness - but not necessarily because someone has done something to me. It is really because I have always feared being fully known; I have always feared that if people were to know me well - to know my truth, my idiocyncrasies, my goofy tendencies, my high-strungness, and all the other pieces of the intimate puzzle that is me - that they would not like me. I feared that if I let them in, they would eventually find the one thing about me that would make me not good enough for them.
But I would never really have said all this out loud. And I have never really been put in a position to have it tested in an extreme way. I have close friends, intimate relationships and such. And I've learned to be ok with intimacy in that context.
HOWEVER. Then comes a relationship that is far more intimate than even the closest of frienships I've permitted myself to establish. There is this pesky thing of being known. Of NEEDING to be known. Deeply and fully and freely.
And God in His Sovereignty, met me right where I was. And took me deeper than I thought I could handle.
Now, I get it. I understand it better.
I am beautiful. Worthy of knowing and being known. Created in His image and purposed to do amazing things in my sphere of influence.
How very freeing this is.
And what a Mighty God I serve.
Love ya'll.
Rosheeda
No comments:
Post a Comment