Saturday, May 12, 2012

Anomaly... Do I REALLY Appreciate That?

I'm out and on a brief brisk walk yesterday, listening to music and pretty much off in my own world,when I hear this phrase:

"You are an anomaly"

I had heard the word, but didn't know the meaning. I got back to my desk and decided to look it up and this is what I found:

anomaly: deviation from the common rule; irregularity; something different, abnormal, peculiar, or not easily classified.

GREAT word. (Or maybe that's just my geekiness showin' again.)

Anyway. I digress.

I'm not really sure what to make of it. I know that it was meant to be a statement of the reality of my life - actually a very accurate, comprehensive definition, truth be told. But I'm not sure if I'm really all that happy about it.

My life has taken twists and turns that I never imagined it would. Everything from the man God has given to me to the job He's called me to, to the calling on my life. All these things are things that I would never have chosen for myself. And this road in full? It is certainly not one that I had plans of walking. Not at all. Because it has so far been totally unorthodox.

And I won't lie. Because I'm as human as anybody else, that scares me to to death. Because it leaves me so misunderstood and feeling so ostracized in my choices and perspectives... really lonely sometimes, actually.

All this is surfacing because of this early morning time with God. He's pulling things out and layin them bare for me in a way that I didn't expect. (These things are the things I pushed away so that I could finish the race without losing my sanity.) So, the other morning in the middle of worship, I hear 'You have not been unwise. Unortodox, but not unwise.'

That's it. That's all He says. Absolutely it.

But then I think about it... This is what scripture calls us to: to be peculiar people. God doesn't wnt us to fit the mold. He wants us to look different.

And maybe that should be a comfort... but it's not. Because, does that mean we should be peculiar even to fellow believers? I mean, what about the fact that most Believers I know question whether or not this is God at work in my life? What about the fact that if i were to ever give a detailed account of my faith walk, I would in many many circles be told that God doesn't work like this? And should any of this really even be a consideration anyway?!

What about my children? As they watch me (and their daddy) live this faith thing, what are we setting them up for? Are they gonna feel as wierd as I do right now? Are they gonna look up to heaven and just be like 'God. Are you for real right now?!' Is He gonna ask them to walk this same very unusual path? And is it even fair to pass on such a legacy to them?!

All these thoughts run through my mind on a pretty regular basis. But. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, I've gotta tell you. I'd rather pass to my children a legacy of living, active, life-changing faith than one of passive rituals that require nothing of them but that they follow the crowd.

And I dont want the latter for myself either. Not at all. I'll take being peculiar over following the status-quo anyday.

So. I guess maybe being an anomaly isn't such a bad thing after all.

Later ya'll.

Fresh Out

What God wants, I dont want to give.

My natural ability is gone. He has told me that for me to continue, He has to renew my heart in many many ways, supernaturally.

I dont know if I want that renewal or not.

This is all old and I'm very over it.

But NOT to ask for that renewal means that I just walk away from everything I've worked for.

And God calls that rebellion. And says further that I would then be destroying my life by my own hands.

I know that's true... but still...

The only verse that comes to mind, besides the beattitudes is : 'a wise woman builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her hands.'

I wont even continue this.

If you think of it, please pray that I would not resist the tug to ask God to renew my heart in all the ways that are necessary to continue on this road.

I wish.... a whole lotta things...

Friday, May 11, 2012



It's a funny thing.

Too many of us feel it.

And we shouldn't.

That is all.


Thursday, May 10, 2012

Me & Jesus

Today is Thankful Thursday.
And I guess I could do a list. Or maybe not.

But really, my biggest thankful for today, for this week, is the relationship I have with Christ. That the Lord has allowed me to know Him personally and intimately is something that I'm finding myself grateful for, more and more. It comes with a huge responsibility, such intimacy, but it is SO worth it, to know His Voice. To be able to talk to Him like I talk to my best friends. To be able to confide in Him and there be no shame and no fear of judgement or criticism. It is one of the greatest gifts in this life. To call Him friend - and that He calls me the same - is a reward in and of itself.

I have been thinking about this for the better part of a week now. And it takes my breath everytime I consider how significant this fact is to my life. It astonishes me in a new way everytime I realize that the Lord of Heaven and Earth has confided in me and I see it come to fruition. It is nothing short of miraculous and amazing to experience God this way. I am overwhelmed so much these days as I see unimaginable things come into being.

There is simply nothing better.

Go visit Iris' blog and join in with this bloggy goodness.

Blessings and peace you guys.

It's All A Process

God has been giving me some new things. I find it amazing how it works, this walk with Him. Intimacy beyond my wildest dreams

I was talking to a friend and in my mind, I was thinking 'God, why does this part have to be so hard?' because her 2010 is looking so far like my 2009, even though what I was expecting last year (and what she expected for this year) was a season of reaping.

His answer startled me and it's really been on my mind to share. I haven't completely pulled it apart just yet, but I'll share what I've gleaned so far.

Reaping is a process. Even when a crop is ready to be harvested, there is still work to be done before it can be consumed. Every time I think of this, all I think of is wheat - probably because it's used in Scripture. You don't just pull wheat from the ground and eat it. There are steps in-between the picking and the eating that have to happen first. First it has to cure. Then it has to be threshed. I mean, really. Just think about that. It has to be set aside to go through a natural process first, and then you tie it in a sheet and beat it against a ROCK to separate the wheat kernels from the chaff...

Even though it was mature enough to be picked, it still needed some more work to get rid of the unnecessary stuff before it was ready to be STORED until time to use it. So even after threshing and winnowing (shaking the wheat kernels to get rid of the chaff), there is still a time of storage for some of what is harvested...

I think that as Believers, we too are taken through such a promise when our reaping season begins. The fruit is ready to be picked, but it has to be made ready to be used. And since the fruit God is most interested in using is INSIDE us, it would mean that we have to be ready spiritually to receive what God has to give to us - because inevitably, He isn't giving it just for us to have bragging rights. He's giving it in order for us to use it in a way that glorifies Him and benefits the body...

This lends credence to the saying that it gets worse before it gets better. Makes total sense now, because threshing comes almost immediately before consumption can occur. And once that's done, there's a gentler tossing that happens to get rid of the rest of the junk. Only then are we truly ready for what God has for our lives. Only then are we genuinely ready to consume the promises God's give us.

I'm sure i'll be back, because I know there's more; I know I haven't done this justice... I just had to give some food for thought...


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

You Are Invited

With so much evil in the world, it is EASY to close ourselves off, and not experience that abundant life God's promised us.

Satan takes every opportunity, every open door, even glimmer of hope he can get, to oppress us and to steal from us.

But we don't have to accept that. We do NOT have to just live with it. We can fight back. We can truly internalize who we are in Christ, truly seek Him for who He wants us to be and how He wants our lives to look. And we can take our lives back - because we have the authority to do so.

One of the best weapons we have, really, is knowing who we are created to be - and being that person. Because if we do the work of finding that out, and then allow the process of evolution in our spirits to be complete, we find ourselves surrendered to God and dependent on Him. And in that dependency, we learn how He would have us to stand and wage war against the enemy of our essence - that being that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, created in God's own image and given all we need to live the lives He purposed for each of us.

There is nothing more scary to satan than a Believer who KNOWS God. Because there is truly NOT A THING he can do to them that walk in relationship with the Lover of our souls.

But because he is such a deciever, he wants us to believe that he has power in our lives. Truth is, he only has what we willingly hand over to him. He's a bully, and as soon as we expose him for who he really is (a big baby, throwing a HUGE hissy-fit), then he runs screaming for the hills.

I don't know about anybody else, but that riles me up. THAT makes me angry. And it makes me determined to take back ALL MY STUFF. Because seriously. Why should I give away what God reserved just for me?!

All we gotta do is trust God. If we would just take a step back and stop tryin to be our own source, our own protection, our own sanctifiers, our OWN saviors, then... THEN we'd know God's wonder-working power in our lives. Because the first wonder He'd work is IN US.

Everything else is just gravy.

He WANTS to do big things in our lives. But we have to let Him. He wont intrude. He ALWAYS waits to be invited. Because that's just who He is. But when we invite Him, we've gotta know that it can't be on our terms. We have GOT to be willing to do it His way. It's higher than ours, after all. And it works out much better in the long run.

Satan is powerless, if we are willing to become sold out to God's Love for us. If we will do that, if we will just walk in who we are in Christ, we would see restoration and victory in every area of our lives.

Stop believing the lies. Quit giving your power away. Wrap up in the Holy One. Rest in Him and open that door that has been so long barred against His wooing. He has great great things in store, if you would invite Him in.

Take this not as an invitation from me, but as an invitation from the King for you to enter His private chamber and be intimate with Him.

You won't regret it. Not at all. Not even for a second. Promise.

I'll be back.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

Ok, this is the absolute easiest thing in the world to make:




Wax paper

In a microwave safe bowl, melt your chocolate (I used nestle milk chocolate chips). 15 seconds at a time, and stir, until the choclate is melted.

Wash your strawberries. And dry them.

Dip, roll, immerse, however u wanna do it, your strawberries in your melted chocolate.

Place all that choclatey-strawberry-y goodness on the wax paper to cool.

Once all have been dipped and put on wax paper, we put it all on a cookie sheet (wax paper too) and into the freezer (or refrigerator) to cool.

Pretty to look at and great to eat.

*And please feel free to lick the spoon used to stir the melted chocolate. And also to lick the bowl.

yep. enjoy. (We made this for my grandmother, along with her other mother's day gifts. She thought she was SO special.)



Friday, May 4, 2012

A Woman Of Few Words

I am so rarely word-free.

This would be one of those occasions.

I'll be back - probably Monday - with something interesting (at least interesting to me).

Until then, enjoy your weekend.


Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Today, after five years of being natural, I'm relaxing my hair.

I'm SO excited!

But also a little emotional.

I went natural for a few reasons. Initially I just wanted to try it to see if I'd like it. But as the process went along and I started really engaging in the journey - because it really is a journey, it started to mean a lot more...

My natural journey co-incided with my spiritual journey. As I really committed to the process, I began to recognize just how signigicant a change this was for me. This was me going agianst the grain, me learning to embrace who i really am and to love that woman NO MATTER what other people think, expect or prefer.

I think that for most women, what we do with our hair is really an indicator of what's goin on inside us. I'm no different.

In my family, I've been the black sheep. In every way, hair and othewise. Some have loved it and some, not so much. But just like with the way I've changed spiritually, I have found myself more and more in love with this side of my physical beauty (because everyone's beautiful in some way, whether or not we see it or welcome it).

I've loved this natural thing. I so appeciate the condfidence and the shift in values that have taken root in my spirit as a result. It really has a been a GREAT ride.

But it's time for a change.

Today, I will relax my hair. For lots of reasons (the least of which being the fact that in a lot of ways it represents a new season of life for me). It's just time.

I have spent the last week taking pictures of my hair and I'm going to take one today of my combed out natural before T straightens it. And then there will obviously be the 'afters' too.

I am sooooo excited. It's been a great ride and an incredibly freeing thing, this natural season. Really incredible...

But now, I get to start seeing pieces of the me that I've missed so much. I get to experience life as myself, only better (i.e., more mature, broken and useable). I know... so much more now than I did then.

Sooooo much more.

Pics coming soon!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I Just Gotta Pump Up My Man's Ego

Ya'll, Clay ROCKS!

I am SOOOOO proud of him right now.


In the last two weeks, I have been left speechless more times than I can count.

The biggest of all is that he has had a proffessional goal for almost a year now and I was like 'ok whatever'. Didn't say much. Encouraged him if he mentioned it, but otherwise I hadn't said a word. Well come to find out, he has been taking this series of tests in order to begin transitioning from his current job to the one he wants. And he's almost FINISHED.

And as if that isn't enough, he's already looking at lining up a couple of different opportunities. He has really thought this thing out and been planning in advance.

All this translates to a job he will love and financially easily double what he's making now.

Stayin up late, gettin up early to study. And truly committed to this.

The other big deal is a situation with my family; I expressed a desire to do something where they are concerned (something I'll need him to help me with and be suppportive of). Not only did he express interest and willingness to help me and support the effort, he made it clear to me that what I was proposing is what he would EXPECT me to do. (That would've been my position if he had been the one doing the asking, but he is not exactly in love with my people, so I wasn't real sure how any of that would go over, considering it would be a sacrifice on his part for people of whom he isn't too fond.)

The growth and maturity I've just been dying to see in him is manifesting left and right and I cannot begin to tell you just how stoked I am about it all.

DUDE! He so ROCKS!!!!