Last night's post brings us to Balloon #3! (Can I just say, I am SO excited about this process right now. There is such a joy in my spirit and such a freedom. I am SOOOO excited!)
BYE BYE FEAR OF SHAME!!!!!
God does complete work. And He does eternal work. There is no need to be ashamed of the things that bring us to know Jesus. And there is no need to hide behind ... anything... because God chose a way you would not have preferred, to get His due.
God's word says lots of things, two of which keep coming to mind here: All things work together for good to those that love the Lord. ... and ... There is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
What satan has meant for evil, God is using for good.
We owe no apology for the work God is doing in our lives or relationship. I owe no explanation for choosing God over me and everyone else around me. I owe no apology for allowing myself to love and to experience the richness of succeeding and failing and getting back up again, together.
There is no reason to be ashamed of the choice to forgive him or accept the new things that this means for our lives and relationship. There is no reason to be ashamed of the fact that I need his love and support. There is no reason to be ashamed that we dont fit the box - that we are not perfect.
This doesn't make me silly simple or foolish. Nor does it make me weak - not in the way that most of us consider weakness. It makes me human and it reminds me that he's human too.
God has forgiven me much and there's not a thing silly about doing the same for my Love.
The world's view cannot be my view. I dont look at H and see all his trash. I look at him and I see the beautiful heart that God has put there. And I know that it's good and right and pleasing to my Lord that I would love the man He picked for me, without reservation or feelings of humiliation.
It might not feel natural, but it surely does feel RIGHT... and there's no shame in goin' with that.
So, God. I'm done with this one. I'm done with worrying about people's opinions and rejections and thoughts and all that. I can't change them. And I don't need to try. That's not even my job. I can love them. And I can respect their deep deep love for me. I can allow them to be human and to be flawed. I am choosing to recognize that most often our harsh judgement of others is, more than anything, a reflection of ourselves - not the person we're judging.... knowing how true those things are in our situation, I'm giving this fear up. Please take it and destroy it. Please remove it as far from my heart as east is from the west. It has no place and it serves no purpose. No more of this ridiculous fear God. No more. The people who leave, they will leave because it's time. And that is something I can accept. All things work together for my good becuase I love you and I have been called according to YOUR purpose. There is no condemnation in You and it is not up to me to decide how life should look - not for myself or anyone else. It is for freedom that I have been set free and I am choosign right now today, in this moment to walk in that knowledge. I'm asking that You touch their hearts and that they would accept the beauty of us. But I'm releasing the fear that has kept me from fully loving H in the way You have instructed and that I have so longed to give.
BYE BYE FEAR OF SHAME
You don't live here anymore.