I need to vent.
I am tired. Tired of hurt and frustration and egos that overshadow acceptable conduct and true dignity. I am tired of being required to defend my life and my decisions, JUST to make another person feel better. I am fed up with the notion that I owe anyone a level of honor that would force me to move in a direction other than the one the Lord has clearly charted for my life. I am absolutely disgusted with the concept that I am required to give respect that is not due - in form of worship to a man and for the sake of maintaining a relationship.
I have been persecuted, mistreated, called judgemental, told what my relationship with the Lord must be, compared to a w*ore, called an embarrasment to MYSELF and otherwised treated poorly. Because I have chosen to follow the Lord. And that, in and of itself, apparently makes me critical of everyone around me and the lives they live.
This whole thing of be quiet and do what's right no matter what anybody else does - I'm ok w/that. But when did 'right' become not requiring that our relationships with eachother remain dignified? When did it become 'right' that we allow the integrity of our interactions with eachother to be compromised, for the sake of turning the other cheek. Christ was gentle, but he was honest. And when it was required he was very strong in his speech. Why do we as, Believers, think that in order to honor the Lord we must forever allow what isn't pleasing to Him to reign. We have a responsiblity to each other as brothers and sisters in faith, FIRST before any other relationship we claim, to hold eachother to the standard that pleases the Lord.
I am heartbroken that nobody seems to want to speak the truth. It's not all bad. Well. No it isn't. But when things are done that are good, and then thrown back in the face of the recipient as a way to keep them under the control/thumb of another, then good pretty much flies out the window. When you choose to take care of others, then resent the imposition to your life, home, desires - then you pretty much nulify your 'good'.
And when you TAKE the right to speak to others about how they are living their lives and the 'mistakes' you just know they're making and about how you're concerned and bothered at how they 'allow' other people to 'use' them and 'toy' with them and 'mistreat' them, but you then treat your OWN far worse than anything you 'think' you see in that other relationship - that, THAT, makes you a hypocrite.
Am I looking for perfection?NOPE. But I'd just love to see something that resembles decency.
And then to ask me to pray for that person that is PURPOSELY harming me with their poor conduct - because you see, they know and will admit that their behavior SUCKS - as a way of softening the message you were given to deliver to me. THAT is just foolish. ARE U SERIOUS? WHAT would make you think that peace-keeping efforts are working here? WHAT would make you think that me praying over hearts and attitudes (like I've been doing, and you have too) would change the implicated next step if I don't 'get it together', so to speak???
I'm just freaking sick of this. And before I delve off into a me that needs to remain sleep, Im ending now.
Later ya'll.
Ro
I am tired. Tired of hurt and frustration and egos that overshadow acceptable conduct and true dignity. I am tired of being required to defend my life and my decisions, JUST to make another person feel better. I am fed up with the notion that I owe anyone a level of honor that would force me to move in a direction other than the one the Lord has clearly charted for my life. I am absolutely disgusted with the concept that I am required to give respect that is not due - in form of worship to a man and for the sake of maintaining a relationship.
I have been persecuted, mistreated, called judgemental, told what my relationship with the Lord must be, compared to a w*ore, called an embarrasment to MYSELF and otherwised treated poorly. Because I have chosen to follow the Lord. And that, in and of itself, apparently makes me critical of everyone around me and the lives they live.
This whole thing of be quiet and do what's right no matter what anybody else does - I'm ok w/that. But when did 'right' become not requiring that our relationships with eachother remain dignified? When did it become 'right' that we allow the integrity of our interactions with eachother to be compromised, for the sake of turning the other cheek. Christ was gentle, but he was honest. And when it was required he was very strong in his speech. Why do we as, Believers, think that in order to honor the Lord we must forever allow what isn't pleasing to Him to reign. We have a responsiblity to each other as brothers and sisters in faith, FIRST before any other relationship we claim, to hold eachother to the standard that pleases the Lord.
I am heartbroken that nobody seems to want to speak the truth. It's not all bad. Well. No it isn't. But when things are done that are good, and then thrown back in the face of the recipient as a way to keep them under the control/thumb of another, then good pretty much flies out the window. When you choose to take care of others, then resent the imposition to your life, home, desires - then you pretty much nulify your 'good'.
And when you TAKE the right to speak to others about how they are living their lives and the 'mistakes' you just know they're making and about how you're concerned and bothered at how they 'allow' other people to 'use' them and 'toy' with them and 'mistreat' them, but you then treat your OWN far worse than anything you 'think' you see in that other relationship - that, THAT, makes you a hypocrite.
Am I looking for perfection?NOPE. But I'd just love to see something that resembles decency.
And then to ask me to pray for that person that is PURPOSELY harming me with their poor conduct - because you see, they know and will admit that their behavior SUCKS - as a way of softening the message you were given to deliver to me. THAT is just foolish. ARE U SERIOUS? WHAT would make you think that peace-keeping efforts are working here? WHAT would make you think that me praying over hearts and attitudes (like I've been doing, and you have too) would change the implicated next step if I don't 'get it together', so to speak???
I'm just freaking sick of this. And before I delve off into a me that needs to remain sleep, Im ending now.
Later ya'll.
Ro
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