Thursday, November 10, 2011

Im Eating His Words Now

"This year is a year of relase for you both."

"I want to take you to new levels of trust in Me."

"You are an anomaly."

"The path you have taken for Me is unorthodox, but not un-wise."

"Trust Me."

"There is always purpose in pain."

"True obedience most always stretches your comfort and understanding."

"Sarah doubted the promise as well but Isaac was conceived just as the angel revealed."

I've been set-up.

God has been giving me this stuff over the last few weeks and I wondered what was up, but not until yesterday did I find out.

And yet He says 'Stay. Trust Me. Stay. This is a blessing in disguise.'

Then, THEN, He starts reminding me of prayers I've been praying for over a year due to a certain situation that has contributed to my current circumstance.

And all I can say is... ok God.

And all this because I spoke my mind. All this because I said what needed to be said. All this because I am determined to live a life that reflects the beauty of holiness.

Ecclesiastes 8, 9, & 10. Wisdom, joy, and God's sovereignty. All that.

I know that to most, this is incoherent rambling, but... to me it is a memory trail.

I am apparently God's yes-girl. And I guess that if i had to be anybody's yes-girl, I'm good with it being God.

I'm not gonna lie. I am walkin' this thing out. I said yes and I mean it. I'm going for complete obedience; I want my due season...

But I'm scared as hell that this is the worst decision of my life. On this one, there is no in-between. It is the best thing I could ever do. Or the worst mistake I could ever make.

And I'm trusting God that the former is the truth.

All this preparation. All this revelation. All this, my life is your's Lord. All this 'whatever it takes God.' ALL THIS.

I'm eating those words big time right now.

They were sweet on my tongue at the time, but they are bitter now.

Here's hoping that they produce ripe, plump, fragrant, sweet fruit. My life is riding on this...

God,
I love you. And I'll be your yes-girl. Just please help me stay focused on you and to live in the freedom of wisdom and position. Help me NOT to make choices rooted in my pride or my pain. I have jokes and all, but Im hurting and I'm scared. HOWEVER, you are bigger than that. You asked for the promise. I'm handing it back. I've taken it to the mountain top and I've lain it on your alter. The knife is raised and I'll do what you say... but Lord. Please send me a ram in the bush. Please...

In Jesus' Name
Amen

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