I'm sitting today, trying to rest and relax. But I'm failing. I'm pretty restless. What I find myself wanting to do right now is just drown in Clay's love. I find myself feeling his love so completely in this moment that I'm not sure I know what to do with it. The depth... The honesty of it. It's beautiful. I'm not even real sure where all this is coming from. I just know that today is a day that I recognize his love for me in a way that I'm not sure I ever have before. I remember feeling this feeling as the Lord drew me closer to Him. I'd feel like He was pulling me under. Like there was a deep place He was taking me. And at alternating points, I'd be excited. Then I'd be nervous. And sometimes I'd even try and stifle it because it overwhelmed me, but I could never run from it for long.
That's how I'm feeling right now with Clay. Like his essence surrounds me. Like his love lives and goes with me. It's like he's grabbed my hand and told me to come on, and he's swimming ahead of me - going faster than I expected. And I'm so busy trynna see and enjoy it all and take it all in, so excited about where we're going - wanting it to speed up, wanting to hurryup and get there, but at the same time wanting to slow down and enjoy the view - i'm too excited to be afraid. Or to be cautious. I'm just going. He's leading me. I'm following him. And I'm loving it.
This feeling. This moment. This sense of overwhelming peace and rightness about our relationship and where we're going. I want to hold on to it forever. I hope that I never lose this comfort. I hope that I never lose the feeling of absolute trust that I have right now.
It seems that with every step we take, we get one step closer to the oneness that I long for. Seems that he's longing for it too. Seems that he's running ahead of me to make sure everything's ready. Seems we're on the same page and ready to take our right places... Makes me tremble with anticipation, desire, excitement, some nervousness, and a whole lotta joy. Makes me wanna cry out of sheer astonishment.
This is a place I've longed for - and now that we're here, I'm not sure how to articulate it.
And the Lord whispers to me: I promised to give you beauty from ashes.
And I am in awe....
That's how I'm feeling right now with Clay. Like his essence surrounds me. Like his love lives and goes with me. It's like he's grabbed my hand and told me to come on, and he's swimming ahead of me - going faster than I expected. And I'm so busy trynna see and enjoy it all and take it all in, so excited about where we're going - wanting it to speed up, wanting to hurryup and get there, but at the same time wanting to slow down and enjoy the view - i'm too excited to be afraid. Or to be cautious. I'm just going. He's leading me. I'm following him. And I'm loving it.
This feeling. This moment. This sense of overwhelming peace and rightness about our relationship and where we're going. I want to hold on to it forever. I hope that I never lose this comfort. I hope that I never lose the feeling of absolute trust that I have right now.
It seems that with every step we take, we get one step closer to the oneness that I long for. Seems that he's longing for it too. Seems that he's running ahead of me to make sure everything's ready. Seems we're on the same page and ready to take our right places... Makes me tremble with anticipation, desire, excitement, some nervousness, and a whole lotta joy. Makes me wanna cry out of sheer astonishment.
This is a place I've longed for - and now that we're here, I'm not sure how to articulate it.
And the Lord whispers to me: I promised to give you beauty from ashes.
And I am in awe....
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