Sunday, January 8, 2012

My Relationship With Christ

Lest anybody think that I am a saint, I figure maybe I should just share openly that I am such a sinner...

I talk so openly about my walk with the Lord because He has done such a life-changing work in me these last few years.

I know that a lot of people get the impression that me and God have some sort of unique closeness and that it can be a little off-putting, but really... well... we're just really good friends. There's nothing so different about my relationship with the Lord than about my relationship with my best friend - except that He's perfect. He and I talk and just really spend time together. That's all.

The question I'm most frequently asked is how to hear the Lord. How do you discern His voice? How do you know you're hearing Him and not you? And honestly, all I can tell you is: get to know Him. The best way to learn to hear Him is to get to know Him.

I can't pinpoint anytime where I finally just started hearing Him. I can mention the first time I remember hearing Him, but I'm sure I heard before and I just didn't count it as the Lord's voice. I have always been sensitive spiritually. Just the heart He's given me. And unknowingly, my grandmother cultivated that recognition in me. The Lord called me as a child. I've always been different, not quite with the crowd but much more a leader and recognized that I cared to be (or to acknowledge). People seem to be drawn to me and I seem to just naturally be able to meet some need in/for them. As I've matured, I understand that the Lord is the one meeting the need; He's just using me.

If anything makes my relationship with Abba unique, it is simply that I seek Him. Fully. I have experienced enough of doing it my own way to know that it's a waste of my time and an invitation for destruction internally. When I finally got that, I started just talking to Him, trusting Him to hear me. And one day, He started talking back. But not until I was really ready to start getting to know Him. And then, He started talking consistently - at first through others mostly, then more and more to me directly. The more I sought, the more He spoke. Jeremiah 29:13 lived for me. Still does.

I'm all or none, so committing to Him was just that. A full-fledged all of myself commitment. And then He started changing me. And because I'm a practical learner, for me, He has been a practical teacher. He gives a direction. I follow it. Once I obey, He shows me how it all lines up. If it doesn't sound right, I ask Him to confirm it. And He does. And then I obey.

Just like a rebellious kid, I have those times when I'm not feeling it. And I act like the kid I am. I talk back, I question, I fight and try to avoid - but my heart belongs to Him and He always waits me out and draws me back. He reminds me of the emptiness of my own way and the futileness of fighting His Will.

I've learned that He's sovereign. I've learned that He's smarter than me and wiser, too. And I know that He loves me. So I made the choice to answer His call and let Him do His thing. Once I started running TO Him instead of FROM Him, He started revealing Himself in all kinds of ways. He truly became my passion and my life. He became my Father, my Master, and my Friend. When I gave myself to Him, He met me where I was.

He started talking and He hasn't stopped. And all I really did for that to happen was to start listening.

So I guess my advice to anybody who would ask me how to hear God more clearly is simple: LISTEN.


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