It is now 1:17am on Sundy morning and I'm wide awake, having just hung up with Jenn. Even before we started talking, I had been thinking about her and relationships I have with other people too. I spent time reading her blog tonight and reflecting on what we've experienced together.
I did the same thing with Chu last night.
I have done the same thing with my relationships with my immediate people. Mom, Dad, Brother. I've done the reflecting thing.
And what I've come to realize is that we are tied to eachother in ways that we can't begin to understand. Oh, we think we make decisions that are good for us.We think we are the only ones who bear the consequences of some of the things we do, or don't do. But that isn't true. We are all so connected that we will ALWAYS impact eachother, no matter what choices we make.
It touches me in a way that I can't even begin to express that there is someone who loves enough to ask the Lord that they be able to love me right, better, differently, more than they already do. Because that's a lot of lovin'. That I'm so loved that the only adequated description is SISTER. For us both. Because well, anything less, just doesn't do what we have any sort of justice.
It touches me deeply that a man I only just met, sees something in me that makes him love me. He doesn't see it that way, but the way that he has championed me and required things of Chu, on my behalf - having just met me - that is love. He loves what is truly good for his cousin, and because he loves him, he also loves me.
It heals old hurts and wounds that my brother is so in love with me that he has finally learned that real love takes risks. He was willing to risk our relationship if it meant speaking up and telling me his heart for me. And although I wasn't so thrilled about some things, it does me good to know that I have a relationship with my brother that is drowned in a love and a understanding that can only exist between siblings.
It gives me confidence to know that Chu loves me so much that he's willing to learn me. Willing to step back from all the other things that come up and to step up, however clumsy it is sometimes. He loves me enough that he's willing to take the correction from another man, to protect the investment he's made in me.
My parents. They love me. Good, bad, right, wrong or indifferent. They love me. For all our disagreeing. For all the animosity. For all the walls we've got between us right now, they love me.
The one thing all these relationships have in common is that they each directly impact my life. In many ways most of them will never know. Their words, their actions, their support, their understanding, their opposition. It all leaves an indelible impression...
Soul ties... Spirit ties... We are all bound to each other. What we speak, what we do, attitudes we perpetuate. We affect each other.
'What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'
Whether we are married, siblings, parents, children, friends, blood, or might-as-well-be-blood, we are obligated to treat the soul ties we are given with respect. We are instructed not to tear apart what the Lord sees fit to join. We have responsiblity to handle eachother lovingly and with the respect of the cross in mind.
We are called to honor each other as the body. I think that in our humanity, sometimes we manage to skew the concept of 'honoring'. For parents, honor means that their children obey. No matter what. At all costs. When what they should really be seeking is to see their children be obedient to the Holy One. For siblings, honor means that we tolerate eachother's life choices no matter what - when what we really should be doing is holding eachother accountable to reaching for God's best. For friends, honor seems to mean supporting even the most foolish of things, in the name of loyalty - when what honor should REALLY look like, is saying 'I know this is tough. I'm on your side. But what does the Lord say? I don't have an opinion. What does the Lord say?'
We have misunderstood and grossly misused the term 'honor'; We have lost sight of what 'respect' truly is.
As I consider my relationships, I can honestly say that the decisions I have made over the course of the last stretch of time have been ones that have honored those that I love. I have truly learned respect to and for those with whom I have soul ties. I have had to work hard at times to keep my focus and to really give the sort of honor to them that I believe glorifies the Lord. And I have had to regroup and repent along the way. But I have come to know that honor is the code among the Family. We just have to choose God's perspective and not our own - becuase the concepts of honor we hold vs. God's view are totally opposing perspectives.
My challenge to you is that you really consider what 'honor' and 'respect' mean to you. Then seek God on what it means in His eyes. Compare your answers. And then repent of any wrongdoing and allow Daddy to begin to change in you what doesn't reflect a heavenly perspective.
It's worth the work and the breaking. And your relationships will be better for it.
Ro
I did the same thing with Chu last night.
I have done the same thing with my relationships with my immediate people. Mom, Dad, Brother. I've done the reflecting thing.
And what I've come to realize is that we are tied to eachother in ways that we can't begin to understand. Oh, we think we make decisions that are good for us.We think we are the only ones who bear the consequences of some of the things we do, or don't do. But that isn't true. We are all so connected that we will ALWAYS impact eachother, no matter what choices we make.
It touches me in a way that I can't even begin to express that there is someone who loves enough to ask the Lord that they be able to love me right, better, differently, more than they already do. Because that's a lot of lovin'. That I'm so loved that the only adequated description is SISTER. For us both. Because well, anything less, just doesn't do what we have any sort of justice.
It touches me deeply that a man I only just met, sees something in me that makes him love me. He doesn't see it that way, but the way that he has championed me and required things of Chu, on my behalf - having just met me - that is love. He loves what is truly good for his cousin, and because he loves him, he also loves me.
It heals old hurts and wounds that my brother is so in love with me that he has finally learned that real love takes risks. He was willing to risk our relationship if it meant speaking up and telling me his heart for me. And although I wasn't so thrilled about some things, it does me good to know that I have a relationship with my brother that is drowned in a love and a understanding that can only exist between siblings.
It gives me confidence to know that Chu loves me so much that he's willing to learn me. Willing to step back from all the other things that come up and to step up, however clumsy it is sometimes. He loves me enough that he's willing to take the correction from another man, to protect the investment he's made in me.
My parents. They love me. Good, bad, right, wrong or indifferent. They love me. For all our disagreeing. For all the animosity. For all the walls we've got between us right now, they love me.
The one thing all these relationships have in common is that they each directly impact my life. In many ways most of them will never know. Their words, their actions, their support, their understanding, their opposition. It all leaves an indelible impression...
Soul ties... Spirit ties... We are all bound to each other. What we speak, what we do, attitudes we perpetuate. We affect each other.
'What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'
Whether we are married, siblings, parents, children, friends, blood, or might-as-well-be-blood, we are obligated to treat the soul ties we are given with respect. We are instructed not to tear apart what the Lord sees fit to join. We have responsiblity to handle eachother lovingly and with the respect of the cross in mind.
We are called to honor each other as the body. I think that in our humanity, sometimes we manage to skew the concept of 'honoring'. For parents, honor means that their children obey. No matter what. At all costs. When what they should really be seeking is to see their children be obedient to the Holy One. For siblings, honor means that we tolerate eachother's life choices no matter what - when what we really should be doing is holding eachother accountable to reaching for God's best. For friends, honor seems to mean supporting even the most foolish of things, in the name of loyalty - when what honor should REALLY look like, is saying 'I know this is tough. I'm on your side. But what does the Lord say? I don't have an opinion. What does the Lord say?'
We have misunderstood and grossly misused the term 'honor'; We have lost sight of what 'respect' truly is.
As I consider my relationships, I can honestly say that the decisions I have made over the course of the last stretch of time have been ones that have honored those that I love. I have truly learned respect to and for those with whom I have soul ties. I have had to work hard at times to keep my focus and to really give the sort of honor to them that I believe glorifies the Lord. And I have had to regroup and repent along the way. But I have come to know that honor is the code among the Family. We just have to choose God's perspective and not our own - becuase the concepts of honor we hold vs. God's view are totally opposing perspectives.
My challenge to you is that you really consider what 'honor' and 'respect' mean to you. Then seek God on what it means in His eyes. Compare your answers. And then repent of any wrongdoing and allow Daddy to begin to change in you what doesn't reflect a heavenly perspective.
It's worth the work and the breaking. And your relationships will be better for it.
Ro
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