It has been just over a month since I last posted. Can you believe it?
I have so much to say. But. Well. I just haven't been able to put it on paper yet.
But today. Today I think I'll share.
Life is wierd.
I was at this really strange place at the first of the year. Wondering just how much longer I had it in me to go thru the motions of EVERYTHING (which is ovbious in at least one area by my last post). I just didn't know how much more of this eternal limbo I could do.
And apparently God agreed with me. Because things I've been waiting on for anywhere from one to several years are beginning to slowly but surely come together. Step by step. Little by little. Piece by piece. It is all starting to pan out.
And I want to be excited,but I'm afraid to get there. Because I have been before and things just fell apart. And then I was thrown off and doubt set in. So this time, I'm taking it slow. But really ya'll. I'm excited.
... ya know, the wierd part of it all is that as this thing comes together, I can get my life back in some sort of order (and if you know me, you know what I mean - JENN). I'm not one for upheavals and unexpected curveballs or a lotta change. And this last 3 years has been that for me.
It was three years to the date on April 1, 2009 that I quit my job and started this new thing. And life has never been harder. Or richer. Or more of a rollercoaster ride. Or more of a blessing.
I miss normal. I crave normal. I long for routine and schedule and consistency. LOL.
Then I started really pondering on that and I came to a startling realization: My life is changed, never to be the same again, and what I will call normal going forward is not the normal I left behind three years ago.
The season is different. The circumstance is different. The woman is different.
The world around me is filtered thru new eyes and the things that used to mean something don't any more.
But the things that mean something now, well... they're irreplaceable.
I have seen a lot these past three years - been thru a lot, too. And I am rich. Truly rich. Eternally rich.
Above and beyond what I could ask or think is exactly what this new season is to me.
I see it around me. I sense it. I feel it deep inside. God is at work, doing some amazing things.
I will never be the unsure, uncomfortable, outwardly together, inwardly dying 25 year old kid that I was when I started playin at grown.
Now, at 31, I am sure, comfortable in my own skin, and inwardly stable. I have matured into a woman. One that I truly like and believe in. One who is confident for real, not just smart enough to make people THINK she is.
If I get nothing else in this season of my life, I can honestly say that this has been worth the fight.
Here's the the wierdness of a new normal and the joy of a life covered by Christ and drowned in His Love.
Lord thank you for Your love. I appreciate You. I am grateful. I worship You. I rejoice in You. And I am standing in awe of what You do and who You are.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
I have so much to say. But. Well. I just haven't been able to put it on paper yet.
But today. Today I think I'll share.
Life is wierd.
I was at this really strange place at the first of the year. Wondering just how much longer I had it in me to go thru the motions of EVERYTHING (which is ovbious in at least one area by my last post). I just didn't know how much more of this eternal limbo I could do.
And apparently God agreed with me. Because things I've been waiting on for anywhere from one to several years are beginning to slowly but surely come together. Step by step. Little by little. Piece by piece. It is all starting to pan out.
And I want to be excited,but I'm afraid to get there. Because I have been before and things just fell apart. And then I was thrown off and doubt set in. So this time, I'm taking it slow. But really ya'll. I'm excited.
... ya know, the wierd part of it all is that as this thing comes together, I can get my life back in some sort of order (and if you know me, you know what I mean - JENN). I'm not one for upheavals and unexpected curveballs or a lotta change. And this last 3 years has been that for me.
It was three years to the date on April 1, 2009 that I quit my job and started this new thing. And life has never been harder. Or richer. Or more of a rollercoaster ride. Or more of a blessing.
I miss normal. I crave normal. I long for routine and schedule and consistency. LOL.
Then I started really pondering on that and I came to a startling realization: My life is changed, never to be the same again, and what I will call normal going forward is not the normal I left behind three years ago.
The season is different. The circumstance is different. The woman is different.
The world around me is filtered thru new eyes and the things that used to mean something don't any more.
But the things that mean something now, well... they're irreplaceable.
I have seen a lot these past three years - been thru a lot, too. And I am rich. Truly rich. Eternally rich.
Above and beyond what I could ask or think is exactly what this new season is to me.
I see it around me. I sense it. I feel it deep inside. God is at work, doing some amazing things.
I will never be the unsure, uncomfortable, outwardly together, inwardly dying 25 year old kid that I was when I started playin at grown.
Now, at 31, I am sure, comfortable in my own skin, and inwardly stable. I have matured into a woman. One that I truly like and believe in. One who is confident for real, not just smart enough to make people THINK she is.
If I get nothing else in this season of my life, I can honestly say that this has been worth the fight.
Here's the the wierdness of a new normal and the joy of a life covered by Christ and drowned in His Love.
Lord thank you for Your love. I appreciate You. I am grateful. I worship You. I rejoice in You. And I am standing in awe of what You do and who You are.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
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