I seem to have lots of words lately. I know. It's been months since I've done any real regular posting. Apparently Im making up for lost time.
Im sitting here listening to various different songs and remembering all the reasons why they are on this particular playlist... They make me smile; the reasons are unique and they say something signifcant about the story at that moment in time.
And then I start thinkin about things. And stuff. Stuff related to things. And I wonder... I just wonder.
I suppose what I'm really trying to do is process my heart right now. But the thing is, I just dunno how to articulate all that's goin on in me or around me. Not at all. One minute I'm chillin. The next minute I'm anxious and almost overwhelmed. One moment may be all hunky-dory. But then. Somethin' happens and that happy moment passes.
It's all really strange for me. I feel pretty bi-polar right now (no offense to anyone who really IS bi-polar).
Im accustomed to being able to control my emotions... But. Not so much right now. Because I genuinely cant even anticipate them. Which is drivin' me nuts.
Although I do hafta say that I'm glad this is happening now. Not any sooner or any later. Because either of those two things would probably have landed me on the news, trynna explain why i did it. 'Mr.Officer, you dont understand. What had happened was... ' Ha! GREAT VISUAL! :D
It's not that I dont know what I know. I know the deal. I know that this is so important. I know it's gon' be fine. I know it's get through-able. (yeah i made that up)
It's just that's it's inconvenient and irksome at best.
I'm re-evaluatin', self-evaluatin', and probably just generally over-evaluatin'.
And then God talks to me and I can go one more round. But then.
We start the crazy all over again.
*sigh* how's this for processing?
ok ok. so that i can stop sounding all psycho and stuff, I'm outta here.
have a great weekend ya'll.
Ro
Im sitting here listening to various different songs and remembering all the reasons why they are on this particular playlist... They make me smile; the reasons are unique and they say something signifcant about the story at that moment in time.
And then I start thinkin about things. And stuff. Stuff related to things. And I wonder... I just wonder.
I suppose what I'm really trying to do is process my heart right now. But the thing is, I just dunno how to articulate all that's goin on in me or around me. Not at all. One minute I'm chillin. The next minute I'm anxious and almost overwhelmed. One moment may be all hunky-dory. But then. Somethin' happens and that happy moment passes.
It's all really strange for me. I feel pretty bi-polar right now (no offense to anyone who really IS bi-polar).
Im accustomed to being able to control my emotions... But. Not so much right now. Because I genuinely cant even anticipate them. Which is drivin' me nuts.
Although I do hafta say that I'm glad this is happening now. Not any sooner or any later. Because either of those two things would probably have landed me on the news, trynna explain why i did it. 'Mr.Officer, you dont understand. What had happened was... ' Ha! GREAT VISUAL! :D
It's not that I dont know what I know. I know the deal. I know that this is so important. I know it's gon' be fine. I know it's get through-able. (yeah i made that up)
It's just that's it's inconvenient and irksome at best.
I'm re-evaluatin', self-evaluatin', and probably just generally over-evaluatin'.
And then God talks to me and I can go one more round. But then.
We start the crazy all over again.
*sigh* how's this for processing?
ok ok. so that i can stop sounding all psycho and stuff, I'm outta here.
have a great weekend ya'll.
Ro
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